Monday, September 25, 2006

Newspapers Publishing Offensive Religious Cartoons are Identified

One Danish, 500 Militant Islamic Newspapers Cited

Outsourcing of US Jobs Called Immoral

Developing World's Abject Poverty Not So Great Either

Center of Universe Discovered

Politicians Shocked as Discovery Lies Outside Milky Way, Beltway

Capitol Hill Santa Passes Out Christmas Cookies

Minority Party Senators Lucky to Get Crumbs

Martians Criticize Prophet Mohammed

Iran Blames US, Israel

90% of Brits Disagree with US War on Terror

Bush Thanks Blair for Britain's Unwavering Support

Huge Oil Reserves Discovered in Remote Western US Area

New National Park Created to Expedite Drilling

Money Cannot Buy the Important Things in Life

Philosophers, Millionaires and Fools Reach Consensus

Parochial Concerns are Cause of World's Number One Problem

Also Cause of Problems 2 through 1000

Newspaper Discovers Key Problem of Overflowing Landfills

Newspaper Finds Newspaper

Oil Now Most Precious Natural Resource

Clean Drinking Water Also Kind of Important

Law Enacted to Encourage Public Service for the Greater Good

Congressmembers, Political Appointees Exempt

Transit Strike Bad for City Residents

Walking, Biking Not So Bad

Mankind is God's Greatest Creation

Mankind a Bit Embarassed it Created God

Lawyers Help Capitalism Flourish, Most Americans Now Own Shares of Stock

Lawyers Pass Law: Only Lawyers Allowed to Own Law Firms

College Education is the Key to Success

Pay of Athletes That Skip College Exceeds All Other Professions

Bush Administration is Firm Believer in Separation of Powers

Pres, Cheney, Rove Given Separate Offices

Partial Birth Abortion Focus of Presidential Debate

Issues that Affect Other 99.99% of Population May Also be Discussed

Multinational Corporations Call for Stronger Intellectual Property Laws

Help Wanted: Lobbyist Needed to Draft Intellectual Property Legislation

Public Outraged by Unaffordable Prescription Drug Prices

Out-of-Pocket Drug Costs Almost Reach Spending Levels on Cigarettes, Lottery Tickets, Other Necessities

Major Media Companies Deny Having Liberal Bias

Claim "Moderate Senator Hillary Clinton is in Full Agreement"

Bush Says Environment is Fine, Despite Critics' Claims of Global Warming

Cites Good Health of Alaskan Palm Trees

European Parliament Hashes Out Clean Air Accord

Agreement Took Weeks of Smoke-Filled Room Negotiations

January Congressional Vote on Lobbying Reforms Fails to Reach Quorum

Congressmen on Superbowl Yachts Too Hard to Track Down

Teacher Takes Money from Hardworking Students, Gives it to Lazy Students

Lesson on US Tax System Ends Friday

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Iraqis at Odds with Americans over War

Iraqis, Americans United in Opposition to War